morte de rire

   

suis en train de relire "the illustrated Woody Allen reader" qui est un livre plein de morceaux choisis extraits de ses films ou de ses sketches, et ces morceaux sont classés par thèmes. C'est intéressant parce que c'est bien fait, vivant et que ça permet de voir que tout auteur a des thèmes de prédilection qui sont récurrents et qu'il ne cesse de revisiter durant toute sa carrière.
Un des trucs qui me plaisent dans les films de Woody Allen, c'est qu'il alterne entre le sens de la formule, la pirouette et les réflexions très sérieuses. Et franchement, ça, je suis cliente.

allez, juste pour le plaisir et parce que c'est lundi, quelques extraits qui, moi, me font hurler de rire:

"I was kidnapped once. (...) My father has bad reading habits, so he gets into bed at night with the ransom note and he reads half of it, you know, and he gets drowsy and falls asleep. (...) My parents finally realised that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately. They rent out my room.
(...)
The FBI surround the house. "throw the kid out", they say. "Give us your guns and come out with your hands up."
the kidnappers say, "we'll throw the kid out but let us keep our guns and get to our car."
the FBI says, "throw the kid out. We'll let you get to your car but give us your guns."
the kidnappers say, "we'll throw the kid out but let us keep our guns. We don't have to get to our car."
the FBI says, "keep the kid"."

excerpt from one of his stand-up monologues

Alvy : No, I cannot. You keep bringing it up, but I don't wanna live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light.
Alvy (in phone booth): Whatta you mean, where am I? Where do - where do you think I am? I'm out... I'm at the Los Angeles Airport. I flew in... Well, I flew in to see you... Hey, listen, can we not debate this on the telephone because I'm, you know, I feel I got a temperature and I'm getting my chronic Los Angeles nausea. I don't feel so good...

excerpt from "Annie Hall"

"the lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep."
in "the scrolls"

"It's very hard to get your head and heart to work together in life. In my case, they're not even friendly."
in "Crimes and misdemeanors"

Ike : Well, I'm old-fashioned. I don't believe in extramarital relationships. I think people should mate for life, like pigeons or Catholics.
in "Manhattan"

Annie : I don't think our relationship is working.
Alvy : I know. A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark."
in "Annie Hall"

"Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name."
in "Selections from the Allen notebooks

"In summing up, I wish I had some kind of affirmative message to leave you with. I don't. Would you take two negative messages?"
in one of his stand-up monologues

et le top du top du top, la séquence d'ouverture de Manhattan...

Ike's voice-over : "Chapter One: he adored New York City. He idolized it all out of proportion." Uh, no, make that : "He romanticized it all out of proportion." Now, to him, no matter what the season was, this was still a town that existed in black and white and pulsated to the great tunes of George Gershwin." Ah, now let me start this over.
"Chapter One : he was too romantic about Manhattan as he was about everything else. He thrived on the hustle-bustle of the crowds and the traffic.
"to him, New York meant beautiful women and street-smart guys who seemed to know all the angles." Nah, no... corny, too corny for my taste. I mean, let me try to more profound...
"Chapter One : he was as tough and romantic as the city he loved. Behind his black-rimmed glasses was the coiled sexual power of a jungle cat." I love this. "New York was his town. And it always would be."